Saturday, February 16, 2013


The purpose of a test is to find out what I know. I study, learn & apply what I need to PASS the test. HOWEVER...How does one endure a spiritual testing? One day at a time. I am learning that in order to PASS A SPIRITUAL test I have to go THROUGH it. One does not PASS a test without ANSWERING the questions. No test, no passing through to the other side of it. Test's involve pain, testing my character, my faith, my heart, my mind, my entire being. It is life or death to me, in a spiritual sense. It is one of the most important tests of my life & it's been hard. I struggle, I fight, I cry, I resist, I run, I hide, I panic, I work harder, I run faster, I pray more, I get angry...then death comes, to my flesh & my will that wants to go over it, around it, under it, & go back to what I used to be when I felt joy, peace & comfort. In my battle, like all warriors, I finally God, and enter into His rest, faith, hope & love. I declare & proclaim His goodness. Like birthing pains; I Fight, I surrender, I push, I resist, I surrender, unable to see an end in sight, I see the worst, then embrace the best, I see the birthing of a beautiful thing inside of me. Faith begins rising up! I overcome. 'I Conquer by Continuing.' Because if I don't, I will remain dissatisfied, frustrated, empty & live a mediocre life. So like the rising of the sun, the light of God begins to shine in the darkness of my soul & behold, all things become new! "In this PJ greatly rejoices, even though now for a little while, she has been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of PJ's faith, being more precious than gold...tested by fire, may be found to result in praise & glory & honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ...PJ greatly rejoices with JOY INEXPRESSIBLE & FULL OF GLORY, obtaining as the outcome of her FAITH..."

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