TRANSITION: 'Passage from one form, state, style, stage or place to another, connecting two themes; changing from defense to offense (sports) strong contractions & near complete dialation (birth); a movement from one key to another, a linking passage or bridge (music); change of physical properties of a system, structure, substance; change in energy level, transformation to another element or isotype (physics); a scene linked to another (writing); a passage that connects, movement, change from one position, state, stage, concept to another (noun); a period during which change takes place, an event that results in transformation, change over, conversion, shift, jump, leap, convert, undergo.' This pretty much explains the last two years!
I cried out to God over two years ago & the journey I have been on has brought me to deep repentance & great suffering. I am a joyful, playful, positive person by nature, however, there have been season's in my life where God allows me to see the sad, barren & dark side of life & my need to be reminded of my absolute, dire need for Him, 'EL', 'The Strong One'. I have been to this wilderness place before. It is dry, it is lonely, it is frightening, there is no way out or around it, it is painful. Though I have asked for more, I have resisted & have quite honestly, resented the way in which it has come to me. Where are the 3rd Heaven experiences I asked for? The God Encounter's? The Joy of the Lord & the Pleasure's at His right side? I don't understand why I go to this place, most people I know, do not. And I, like the children of Israel, have done alot of wandering, reasoning, worshiping of false gods, trying to cover up my sin & shame, seeking answers in 'people & things', only to return to this lonely, dry, barren land inside of me. This 'Land of Promise' comes at a tremendous cost, I must fight one of my greatest battles here, face my 'Goliath', my mountains, the very enemies of my soul, so that I may overcome & possess it. God will not leave me here. I have a choice to make, for life, not only for myself but for my family. I begin to see the land flowing with 'Milk & Honey'. Each time I have passed through this wilderness, I have been filled to the overflow of His Spirit & the New Wine He has for me. He becomes The Breath of Life I so desperately longed for. What used to 'work' will no longer carry the anointing & power of 'EL' I must have to move forward. So I move forward, and like the Apostle Paul, 'I forget what lies behind' & by faith step into my 'Land of Promise'. "The Lord is my Strength and my Song, and He has become my Salvation; this is my God, and I will praise Him, my father’s God, and I will exalt Him." Exodus 15:2
The purpose of a test is to find out what I know. I study, learn & apply what I need to PASS the test. HOWEVER...How does one endure a spiritual testing? One day at a time. I am learning that in order to PASS A SPIRITUAL test I have to go THROUGH it. One does not PASS a test without ANSWERING the questions. No test, no passing through to the other side of it. Test's involve pain, testing my character, my faith, my heart, my mind, my entire being. It is life or death to me, in a spiritual sense. It is one of the most important tests of my life & it's been hard. I struggle, I fight, I cry, I resist, I run, I hide, I panic, I work harder, I run faster, I pray more, I get angry...then death comes, to my flesh & my will that wants to go over it, around it, under it, & go back to what I used to be when I felt joy, peace & comfort. In my battle, like all warriors, I finally surrender...to God, and enter into His rest, faith, hope & love. I declare & proclaim His goodness. Like birthing pains; I Fight, I surrender, I push, I resist, I surrender, unable to see an end in sight, I see the worst, then embrace the best, I see the birthing of a beautiful thing inside of me. Faith begins rising up! I overcome. 'I Conquer by Continuing.' Because if I don't, I will remain dissatisfied, frustrated, empty & live a mediocre life. So like the rising of the sun, the light of God begins to shine in the darkness of my soul & behold, all things become new! "In this PJ greatly rejoices, even though now for a little while, she has been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of PJ's faith, being more precious than gold...tested by fire, may be found to result in praise & glory & honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ...PJ greatly rejoices with JOY INEXPRESSIBLE & FULL OF GLORY, obtaining as the outcome of her FAITH..."
I am learning about the Father's Heart in a class that I am taking which focuses on the story of the Prodigal Son. When I think about it & am really honest, I too am a prodigal. My heart's desire is to know God & in my mind I believe that all I need or want flows out of Him. However, I find myself running after this & that, busy & dissatisfied. When I look at the fruits of my efforts, they reveal the true story. Yes, there are times when I experience His Unconditional Love for me & His presence, but I have to ask myself, 'Where is that burning heart that runs after me, embraces & kisses me & gives me His very best as we feast together'. I cry out for Him & He answers me & lately, He has been visiting me in the night. Singing over me, healing my longing heart, bringing His Shalom & Peace. "He satisfies the longing soul & fills PJ's hungry soul with good." Psalm 107:9
Our dog Naya is 13 years old. She is teaching ME how to take care of an elderly dog. She is not your typical idea of what 'elderly' might look like, as she was out snowshoeing with me today. I, of course groomed the path, but she followed, digging her nose in the snow. We have had a bit of a challenge with her as of late. She is becoming 'incontinent' in her overnight stay in the garage, (Mike's domain). Cleaning up after her, keeping her clean & looking her best, is not a glamorous job, by any means. With much frustration & determination, I think I have it figured out. It doesn't take 'rocket science' however, since I have not dealt with this issue before, it has taken some creativity & thought, alot of 'trial & error' & sadly, some harsh words & strong displeasure with her. I have found that timing & strategy is everything! We have had two dry nights in a row. I am learning about unconditional love, respecting her at this stage in her life & helping to maintain her dignity. As long as she has sparkle in her eye's & enjoy's our walk's together, she will remain, 'My Naya Girl'!
At Christmas, our family friend, Tom, commented on how the skies must be so amazing up here in Kremmling, after seeing some of the photos on my blog. I responded that they really are supernatural! We truly have a vast canvas before us that we consider our own 'open heavens'. This particular photo reminds me of 'Angel Wings'. While reading my Bible, I was reminded of these descriptive verses from Psalm 104:1-4, "Bless the Lord, O my soul! O Lord my God. You are very great! You are clothed with majesty-Who covers Yourself with light as with a garment. Who stretches out the heavens like a curtain. Who lays the beams of the upper room of His abode in the waters. Who makes the clouds His chariot. Who walks on the wings of the wind. Who makes winds His messengers, flames of fire, His ministers". Look closely with your spiritual eyes & join me in seeing God's messengers displayed so beautifully with the Creator's heavenly brushstrokes!
I love mountain living, am inspired and grounded through the beauty that surrounds me. I value loving relationships in an intimate setting along with delicious foods, and rich coversation. My family is of utmost importance and my greatest desire is to live and leave them with a legacy of wealth, spiritually and financially. My greatest gift is to encourage others to live out their purpose and destiny in life. I love to travel, learn, read, draw, journal, listen to music, worship, and hike.